let's have a quickie

edit: I almost forgot to mention-- I woke up this morning to be reacquainted with an old friend I haven't seen in a while...

mah hip bonez is back!

I want to post about the fight I had with my grandpa this morning, but I don't really want to write down hateful things and part of me is really, really over it, so if this post seems lacking in flair and charisma, chalk it up to having a bummer day.

So got in a fight early in the morning. Went for a run. It is so difficult to break myself of emotional eating, both restriction and binge. Today was especially hard because of that. I went to the gym with my grandma, got on the treadmill, and immediately started thinking, You know what? I shouldn't have to run today, because I feel emotionally drained, and self-righteously angry. Instead, I should go to a coffee shop and get a mocha. Yeah, a big hot chocolate mocha and maybe a bagel. No wait, a danish. No wait, a bagel and a danish, because I deserve it. Luckily I caught myself and had a compromise. I finished my 3.5 miles, but I let myself walk .75 miles up a hill. This was a necessity really, because I'd been crying which gave me an awful stitch in my side as soon as I started jogging. Ever had that happen? Then I went to the coffee shop and had a black coffee, cup of black bean soup, and slice of bread for breakfast/lunch.

Lunch 'proper' was an iced black coffee at McDonalds (victory! resistance!) and dinner was my own homemade chili verde (almost entirely just veggies and chicken broth with a bit of meat) with about a half cup of rice+beans, and plain yogurt instead of sour cream. I also had a small evening snack of nuts+dried cherries.

Ho hum, I don't feel like I have much else to say. Oh except thank you for the lovely comments! They really make it worth while to write, and I look forward to reading them whenever I log on. thank you thank you thank you. Even if I don't always comment back (although I do try!) I read every single blog post in my reader.

And tomorrow I'll be headed home! Seattle, get ready :D

x's and o's,
Adrian.

p.s. I almost forgot!!

Day Seven- Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care? 

They have no idea. They probably don't care. Actually I would guess that they would both say, 'you don't need to worry about that' but actually my dad would be happier if I were a bit thinner. But they really can't tell my weight I think. I can't really judge their weights, in my mind it's just that I'm significantly smaller than them, but I have no idea by how much. I baffle them because I'm thin and they don't really question me about it. They know I like to hit the gym, they know I like to eat fruits n veggies. But I've been making most of my own food since I was about 11 or so, and I'm pretty much a nutritional stranger to them. 

I'm going to tell them my plans to run a marathon, and I think that will cover up any weight fluctuation. So plans to 'get in shape' yeah, they'll be supportive of that. My dad used to always tell me when I was small, 

"become an athlete, Adrian. Because everyone in this society will make the choice, and at some point, we'll either be athletes, or dieters"

I'd much rather run 100 miles a week and eat an occasional guilt-free slice of cheesecake. 

hahaha I crack myself up. Can you imagine eating the occasional piece of guilt-free cheesecake. Hilarious.